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| How to Say No to Street Vendors in Mexico |
The Fedewa - How to Say NoYour secret weapon in the battle against pushy vendors.
When you're at a beach in Acapulco, and particularly if you are in the Golden Zone, you’ll get regularly accosted by a parade of characters offering everything from a message, to temporary tattoos, to offers to braid your hair Bo Derek style (a bit of advice here, not be be a drag on the hair braiding industry, but don’t get your hair braided because it really looks silly), a big straw hat that says Acapulco in neon letters, to a guy that will write your name on a grain of rice, to chinsey jewelry, beachwear and every other imaginable tourist item.
Acapulco is pretty big so the concentration of pushy vendors is far less than in Vallarta and Mazatlan, but if a "no gracias" or two doesn't work, maybe it's time to bring out the heavy artillery - that's right, the Fedewa.
The first thing you should know about the Fedewa is that the name has actually nothing to do with Mexico per se, but was invented by a group of friends and I (yeah D, Chad, Sandra and Debbie) in Mazatlan in 1998.
This technique is called "the Fedewa" in honor of Dr. Thomas Fedewa who taught it to us when we were studying Spanish at Tech de Monterrey Campus Mazatlan. The Fedewa is actually a pretty commonplace hand gesture in Latin America made with the index finger extended straight out. It's performed in a slow back and forth motion sort of like when telling a child that he or she can’t have that Butterfinger they are whining about when standing on line at the grocery store. Hit a vendor in Mexico with the Fedewa once and 90% leave immediately before the words “hey amigo” can get out of their mouth. The Fedewa is a pretty powerful weapon so be careful about when you take it out of the holster.
Occasionally, you’ll run into a very thick skinned individual who thinks they can give you the hard sell. You may need to strengthen the power of the Fedewa which is done, not by moving finger back and forth faster, but slower. A slow back and forth movement signals that you are in control and not going to budge while going more rapidly signals that you are close to breaking and will end up buying one of his necklaces/hammocks/coupons to Tabares.
If you get someone that still persists and there is more than one person in your party, you may have to enlist the help of your companions to give the perpetrator(s) multiple doses of the Fedewa. It’s powerful stuff. If you have four of five people all giving someone the Fedewa in unison, well, that could be enough to give someone an outright complex. Start with two Fedawas then go up slowly to three if that doesn’t work. Perhaps even a double Fedewa might be employed, that is a Fedewa with both hands.
There are a few characters that are impervious to the power of the Fedewa
Inescapable situations:
In all my years in Mexico there are still a few things from which I can’t manage to escape gracefully. When I’m out with a young lady, for example, and the “rose guy” (the omni-present guy that sells the roses) comes around and gives her a rose or worse, the whole friggin’ bouquet, it's possible to escape, but not gracefully. It’s the girl’s job to refuse, but if she doesn’t, then he knows he’s got you and quotes an exorbitant price with a reptilian smile that you will have to pay or risk looking like an ill-humored cheap-ass in front of your new love interest.
Another inescapable situation is the guys who wash your window. It doesn’t matter if you just had the car washed and towel dried, the window washer dudes will appear the moment you're stuck in traffic or stopped at a light with their little squirt bottles filled with soapy water and spray it all over the windshield typically before you can get your Fedewa out of its holster. If you see them coming from a distance, the Fedewa can have a limited deterrent effect, but this is rare. They know all about the Fedewa so they walk around, not looking at you acting like they're about to pass you by, then bam, suddenly turn and hit your windshield with their soapy water. They know that people can't give the Fedewa to the air when the other person isn't looking, because it involves eye contact. These guys are a tough nut for the Fedewa to crack.
The children. These are the hardest to say no to because they can just wrench your heart looking up at you with their big brown eyes. They can be as young as three or four and may approach you selling chicle (little packets of gum). You can often say no and they will listen as these chicle sellers usually little girls that have a mother nearby with her wares spread out on the street. The truly difficult ones are older around 7 to 10 and they usually arrive at your table while you’re eating. Most restaurants shoo them, but not all. They are usually boys, but occasionally girls, and they will literally attach themselves to your table and stare at you until you give them money. They don’t budge and can really kill and evening if you’re as stubborn as they are so in my opinion its best to pay them fast. They do this professionally so don't even try to win. If more children try it, tell them you already paid, they all know each other.
The Chain Dude. If you're young or look like a partier, he’ll be a young guy, usually dark completed from being outside in the sun all day, in beach shorts or similar attire who approaches you with the pretext of selling you some jewelry, normally a single silver platted chain that he has stretched out in his sweaty palm. This guy should not be confused with the older, fatter guys who actually sell chains for a living who can be distinguished by the fact that carry a heap of chains usually in some sort of display case. These chain dudes, on the other hand, have one paltry chain, just enough pretext to approach while keeping up appearances. They are usually pretty quick to the point. Instead of “hey buddy would you like to buy a chain (pause) how about some weed?" It’s usually more like, hey buddy would like a chain some weed (mota)?" without the pause as he makes the universal sign for smoking dubbage by putting his thumb and forefinger together and then to his mouth. If he puts his finger to his nose, well that means he can get you you something else too. The Fedewa doesn't work because these guy's most likely because they are already high. Don't worry, they're harmless, just sort of annoying.
Despite these few exceptions, the Fedewa is an indispensable weapon in your arsenal during your expedition though touristlandia.
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| What's happening
in Acapulco? |
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